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The hard left communist proletarian newspaper for anarcho trotskyist youth and the elderly March 2008
RED SMED NATIONWIDE TOUR
"Aim solely to spread the message of Socialism" says manager
Red Smed (far left)-the reclusive songwriter and frontman of the HOT TROT SMASH THE SYSTEM BOOGIE BAND has been brought out of his fortress of solitude in order to do a major national tour.
The Hot Trots new manager - top impressario Max Barstead (extreme right) spoke to our top journalist Maurice Pillock in an exclusive interview only today
PILLOCK;-Mr Barstead, you're well known for promoting such top notch money grabbing egotists as The Extremely Rich Band, Adolf and the Hitlers , Steaming Lord Capitalist and Phil Collins. What made you choose to manage Red Smed -a well known and widely loved figure of desire amongst young women and old socialists everywhere?
BARSTEAD;- well, Brian, I'm a much changed character since my days as a Thatcherite entrepreneur, and long gone are such squalid business deals as that whole Mercury pension funds deal, the Nestle-Glaxo -Texaco oil drilling rights for Combwich and of course the 'Arms to Soweto' programme
PILLOCK;-Just to clarify to our readers that was 'arms to the Apartheid Police force in Soweto..?
BARSTEAD;- yes, technically....but thats all in the past now
PILLOCK;- So your aim in managing the Red Smed band is solely to spread the message of socialism.
BARSTEAD;- yes. oh yes yes yes.. er..comrade.
PILLOCK;-Which involves a workers revolution to overthrow capitalism and redistribute the vast wealth of the rich to the working class..
BARSTEAD;- yes....er, does it??
PILLOCK;- Can you tell us something about the band?
BARSTEAD;- Not really...I think they're 5 young men from ireland
PILLOCK;-For instance, on mandolin theres 'Fat Bald Dave'.
BARSTEAD;- er, yes....
PILLOCK;-Now, he can't actually play the mandolin can he?
BARSTEAD;- well, now you're being picky.
Cat Di Campo. Who will be singing such hard hitting numbers as 'When Teddy's Gone'
Captain Balderelli;- Possibly the only fat bald mandolin player in the band
PILLOCK;- And for 2 of the gigs, the Red Smeds long serving drummer Nervo Dangerous, one of the best rock drummers in the south west, is unavailable
BARSTEAD;-yes,he's washing his hair
PILLOCK;-And he's been replaced by Nick 'No Arms' Tuckwell
BARSTEAD;- Yes, he was especially cheap.
PILLOCK;- And it says here that after being thrown out of the band 'Bikeshed' for 'wearing a flowery dress' he has worked mainly as a mobile phone technician....are you worried about his suitability.
BARSTEAD;- Not at all. I;ve been throw nout of many places myself for wearing dresses.
PILLOCK;- And i notice you;'ve now brought into the band Cat Di Campo?
BARSTEAD;- oh yes
PILLOCK;- Now ..she can actually sing can;t she?
BARSTEAD;- Yes ,that was an oversight.
Vintage Footage of the Red Smed band from the Joe Strummer/Jake Thackray' memorial gig. Smed says "Bad news always travels in 2's. That week 2 top anarchic rebel musicians died on the same day. This week it's Arthur C.Clarke and Captain Birdseye"
PILLOCK;- Now the Red Smed band have been through more bass players than you';ve had hot dinner ladies. The latest choice 'Stubo Crokswell', we hear, was handed a bass guitar last week and immediatly made a nice broccolli casserole out of it.. maybe not quite ready for a national tour?
BARSTEAD;- Maybe but he was once in the navy
PILLOCK;- and???
BARSTEAD;-Well, i quite like sailors
PILLOCK;- and of course he was decorated in the Cod war.
BARSTEAD;- Yes. But that was by an icelandic boarding party who mistook him for a pelmet.
PILLOCK;- So just to re-assure us, has the great man (Red Smed.ed) actually written any new songs in the last 20 years.
BARSTEAD;- Ah, well I CAN re-assure you there. No! Absolutely none.
Nervo Dangerous,Somerset's top reggae drummerand kitchen salesman talking to a man whose sexuality is in no doubt.
Nick 'not as daft as you think' Tuckwell. medical reports suggest he needs at least 2 bottles of cheap czech champagne to stop him going near a drum kit.
Able Rating Stuie Crosdell pictured practising bass guitar on his boat the HMS Marie Celeste during a bombing raid on Rejkjavik
RAS BRUNO the lead singer,guitarist,songwriter (in fact the only member) of HERB'AN MUSIC who will be supporting the Red Smed tour by HEADLINING each event. This man is NOT pictured smoking drugs.
HEIDI POWELL backing singer in the Hot trot band now a songwriter in her own write with her own songs form her own brain. She will be accompanied on stage by a MYSTERY GUEST MUSICIAN!!! Anyone wishing to win a cash prize can attempt to IDENTIFY THE MYSTERY GUEST...send answers to 'Rob Perdrix Competition' c/o Unity House, Dampiet st, Bridgwater
A Sailor.......................
To hear the RED SMED band -click on the image above
Pictures from the tour
To hear the bands...click on the above picture
Playing at the FALMOUTH gig were Cornish East European Cajun Dechovka Riverdancers THE RAGGED TROUSERED PHILANTHROPISTS.. To hear them click on the picture .
